Category: Breaking News!!
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Another Potential Assassination Potentially Foiled
Curtis Lee James of Pilot Knob, Missouri was arrested today after he threatened to blow up Reeves Hardware Store with an explosive device. James was seen running along Mulberry St. brandishing a metal cylinder, later identified as a can of Red Bull with a packet of Pop-Rocks duct taped to it. “It was pretty dicey,”…
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It All Adds Up
Vaccine mandate proponents scored a victory earlier this week as initial Omicron variant statistics were released, showing that not everyone infected by the new strain was fully vaccinated. E. Peter Puberton, a Sociology professor at Peter Brady Community College in Tucson, was elated. “It’s about time those dirty Anti-vaxxers were put in their place,” he…
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Tens of Thousands of Austrians Think for Themselves Despite Government’s Disapproval
AUSTRIA…Europe?- A small band of dissidents took to the streets in Austria earlier this week to protest extremely reasonable “guidelines” set forth by a government that’s virtually never been on the wrong side of history. The almost infinitesimal group of 35,000 were beating drums, sounding horns, and chanting hate speech, such as “No forced…
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CDC Expands Coronavirus Symptoms
America- Today the CDC released a list of new symptoms associated with COVID-19, the new contagion that’s sweeping the nation and the world. Dr. Elmer Poote, spokesperson for the Center for Disease Control, advised that the virus may have mutated, and thus present in a range of new symptoms. “We don’t quite know the entire spectrum of new…
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