Tag: Obama
-
Vegetarians Day
Arlington, VA-Following the traditional laying of the wreath at the Tomb Of The Unknown Soldier, President Obama addressed the nation from Arlinton National Cemetery. “Veterans: the final frontier (applause). These are the voyages of the armed forces of the United States (applause). Its continuing mission: to explore strange middle eastern cultures (applause), to seek out…
-
Simon Says, Fold Your Hands On Your Lap…ah, you’re out, guy-with-binder!
WASHINGTON D.C.-The mentally challenged and heavy jowled gathered Thursday to pretend to give a crap about what the President said in his most recent banal rant. “Holy crap!” exclaimed a pasty white female in a blue pant suit. “This jerk would talk until his jaw fell off, and then make us watch his teleprompter. Sometimes…
-
Spend and Filch
Hi there, all my home-boys and G-dawgs. Ya’ know, yesterday I laid out a new super-awesome economy plan which I call “Shared Prosperity”. It’s essentially based on my favorite television show, Sister Wives. See, there’s one husband (which represents welfare recipients and illegal immigrants) and four wives (which represent the tax payers), and the four…
-
Why I hate Fat People
Sure, I hate fat people just like everybody else. Not because they’re fat per se, but mostly because they’re pushy and impolite. I go to Golden Corral three times a week and watch them stuff their quivering gullets full of any food they can get their greasy, plump hands on, bumping me out of the…
Loser News 