Category: Things Ron Doesn’t Get
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The Big Bong Theory
As we all know, Facebook is ever diligent and committed to fighting the spread of misinformation, thus when I saw the startling allegations against Maymi Bulibak on my amazingly popular Facebook page I was understandably distressed. What heinous act could Dr. Blossom O’Sheldon have perpetrated to have “allegations confirmed” against her? There was only one…
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Phonetic Fancies-With Richard Shennery
Mī ōld də yo͞ozd tə sā, “Dōnt let T͟Hə dôr hit yə in T͟Hə ärs!” ī ˈdidnt THiNGk məCH əv it ət T͟Hə tīm, bət əz līf went ôn, ī biˈɡin tə sē T͟Hə ˈwizdəm əv hiz wərdz. It sēmz ə ˈpərs(ə)n kan ˌōvərˈstā hiz ˈwelkəm məCH kwikər T͟Hən hē ˈrē(ə)ˌlīzez, (ə)n ˈēvən if hē dōnt tāk…
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Malaysia Malaise
Authorities are looking for this man in connection with missing Malaysia flight 370, but much like the flight, his whereabouts are unknown. In the early morning hours of March 8, the flight left Malaysia en route to Beijing, but never arrived, leaving the world to wonder as to its actual final destination. Copperfield, who was…
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The Furious, Fasting!
Day 58 of the Pelican Bay State Prison hunger strike has come and gone with no sign of closure, or interest from the general public. The strike sparked by maximum security prisoners at the Crescent City based correctional center is said to be an inspiring show of unity across all sociopathic lines. Murderers, rapists, gang-members,…