Category: Health & Fitness
-
A Transcendental Triumph
Placerville, CA- The last and greatest hetero-holdout in holistic health has fallen to pressure from the LGBTQ community as proprietors of Smash Street Yoga reluctantly taped a flier for “Queer Yoga” to their window, just to the left of the “No Public Bathrooms” sign. Owner/Proprietor, Otis Libowitz, received a court order this week from the…
-
Coming Spoon!
In an exciting new development, researchers have found that the average American brain contains enough microplastics at the time of death to make an entire plastic spoon! A study published in Nature Medicine on Feb. 3, confirms that tiny plastic fragments are passing through the brain’s protective blood-brain barrier, potentially impacting health and cognitive function.…
-
CDC OK’s N95’s…again.
ATLANTA, U.S.A.- Having lost the war on COVID, CDC officials have now approved new protective devices in the event of nuclear attack. The N-95 head-covering is made from state-of-the-art magnetized synthetic polypropylene fibers, which gives it plyability and protection in a lightweight, discreet package. The Nuclear-95 series protects the wearer against 95% of nuclear debris…
-
South Korea: Model of Vaccine Effectiveness / Covid Hospitalizations surge in South Korea
SEOUL, South Korea- How did South Korea escape the pandemic relatively unaffected economically, with deaths at such low levels, while now vaccinating at such a high level that it has protected itself from future waves of illness and harsh lockdowns? That’s the question we should all be asking, and a clear vindication of the zero-Covid…
Loser News 