Loser News

News you didn’t know you didn’t need…

Category: Government

  • A Commentary On Politics with The Hulk

    HulK MAd!! oBAmA wANt rAisE HuLK’s tAXeS! sAy HulK MAkE tOo mUcH mONeY!! HuLK cAN’t HElP iF kNOw hOW tO pLAy tHE mARkeT!! Not HuLk’S fAUlt gOT iN ON gRouND fLOor oF aPpLe cOMpuTerS! HULk tHInK oBAmA jEALouS!  ThINk oBaMA wAnt dATe HuLK’s gIRLfRienD, LiV tYLeR!  NoT dAtE LiV tyLEr, oBaMa!!  HULK SMASH!! HuLK nO…

  • Triple The Chicks

    Super-babe Elana Kagan will be joining smoking-hot, Sonia Sotomayor and Ruth Bader Ginsburg for the Supreme Court’s next session.  Kagan, having held the position of Solicitor General for a year and a half before being appointed to the court, had never argued a case in court before her appointment and has never been a judge.…

  • Bart Stupak: Baby Killer

    Michigan Congressman, Bart Stupak responded to accusations that his compromise on health care was tantamount to infantocide. “I do not kill babies,” Stupak told reporters Monday. “Sure, I hate them as much as the next guy, but I’m no killer…,”he continued, “unless you mean ‘lady killer’, then slap on the cuffs cause I’m guilty as…

  • Gizmo Detainee To Appear In Court

    U.S. authorities have scheduled the first Gizmo detainee to appear in Federal Court, flying him into New York to face trial for the 1984 bombing of a movie theater in the town of Kingston Falls, the Justice Departmentsaid Tuesday. The department said the premorphosized gremlin arrived in the early morning hours Tuesday when he and owner, Billy Peltzer, were turned over…