Category: Government
-
Simon Says, Fold Your Hands On Your Lap…ah, you’re out, guy-with-binder!
WASHINGTON D.C.-The mentally challenged and heavily-jowled gathered Thursday to pretend to give a crap about what the President said in his most recent banal rant. “Holy crap!” exclaimed a pasty white female in a blue pant suit. “This jerk would talk until his jaw fell off, and then make us watch his teleprompter. Sometimes I’m…
-
Spend and Filch
Hi there, all my home-boys and G-dawgs. Ya’ know, yesterday I laid out a new super-awesome economy plan which I call “Shared Prosperity”. It’s essentially based on my favorite television show, Sister Wives. See, there’s one husband (which represents welfare recipients and illegal immigrants) and four wives (which represent the tax payers), and the four…
-
Why I hate Fat People
Sure, I hate fat people just like everybody else. Not because they’re fat per se, but mostly because they’re pushy and impolite. I go to Golden Corral three times a week and watch them stuff their quivering gullets full of any food they can get their greasy, plump hands on, bumping me out of the…
-
Obama Taps Jon Bon Jovi!!
It’s not as bad as it sounds…or is it? Recently, the President signed an Executive Order establishing the White House Council for Community Solutions, and asked the Brett Favre of Pop to participate. Twenty-four professional philanthropists / hangers-on join the Jersey rocker to pretend to salvage the aftermath of a decades’ long socio-economic malfeasance .…
