Category: Business
-
Save Your Penneys
Phones rang off the hook in the headquarters of Change.org (CHick ANd Girl Equality for ORGanic produce) early Wednesday when the corporate world thrust open the revolving door of gender equality with its beefy, man hands, and ushered in a tidal wave of cultural ignorance. “I couldn’t believe what I was seeing,” exclaimed semi-professional golfer…
-
Adieu, US Airways. Adieu.
Dear US Airways, I just received disturbing correspondence from the “US Airways Dividend Miles Audit” Guy or possibly Girl, chastising me for misusing my dividend miles account. Admittedly, I have purchased tickets for my sons in the past utilizing my dividend account number, and your high quality on-line site has allowed me to purchase said…
-
And now a word from our sponsor…
For 50 years, Lemurline International has served Malagasy primate investors and collectors with a full range of products, including sloth, ring tail and mouse lemurs, collectible lemur organs, and rare skeletal remains. Hi. I’m Marilyn Manson, spokesperson and CEO of Lemurline International. For more than 2000 years, individuals have owned lemurs for a wide variety…
-
The Stupidity Surcharge
Take a deep, cleansing breath America, for I have solved the economic crisis! Yes, once again I have saved the nation from complete annihilation and incontinence. And the solution is so mind-numbingly simple, only a progressively forward thinking genius like me could come up with it. Move over Sir Isaac Newton, there’s a new plumber…
Loser News 