Loser News

News you didn’t know you didn’t need…


Category: Articles Becky Won’t Let Her Kids Read

  • HOLY…

    That’s right, America!  I almost went to eat here, but luckily my super bilingual reading skills saved the day.  Now, for those of you lacking my worldy wisdom, make sure you’re using your phonics, and give this place a wide berth. Claiming to be a “mexican grill”, this internally acerbic eatery hides a secret more…

  • I’m Up Here!!

    I am so tired of being treated like a sex symbol!  Chicks hitting on me from the time I get to work until I drive my SMART car out of the parking complex.  It’s disgusting! All I want to do when I get to work is sit in my cubicle and play World Of Warcraft,…

  • The Other Talk (For Girls)

    That’s right, kids. It’s time for another lecture from Dad: I know you think you’ve heard all there is about…well, you know…your woman-becoming time (that is also a punctuation mark), but as you can now become….with child, there are some important facts you need to be aware of. Studies show that you can get “knocked…

  • Story Time With Colonel Kurtz

    Once upon a time there was an errand boy sent by grocery clerks….to collect a bill. He went into a field of flowers with his best friend Ferdinand the Panda.  I can’t remember… Must have been a gardenia plantation at one time, but you have no right to call me a murderer because there’s nothing…