Tag: CDC
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CDC OK’s N95’s…again.
ATLANTA, U.S.A.- Having lost the war on COVID, CDC officials have now approved new protective devices in the event of nuclear attack. The N-95 head-covering is made from state-of-the-art magnetized synthetic polypropylene fibers, which gives it plyability and protection in a lightweight, discreet package. The Nuclear-95 series protects the wearer against 95% of nuclear debris…
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CDC Quells Myocarditis Fears…
The Center for Disease Control (and Distribution) has found that numerous recipients of the second dose of the Covid-19 vaccine have experienced a mild heart condition known as myocarditis. Representatives of the CDC, Pfizer, Moderna, and Satan held a press conference to discuss a specific “very, extremely, super-rare, like way rare” side effect that has…
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CDC Expands Coronavirus Symptoms
America- Today the CDC released a list of new symptoms associated with COVID-19, the new contagion that’s sweeping the nation and the world. Dr. Elmer Poote, spokesperson for the Center for Disease Control, advised that the virus may have mutated, and thus present in a range of new symptoms. “We don’t quite know the entire spectrum of new…
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