Loser News

News you didn’t know you didn’t need…


Category: Business

  • And now a word from our sponsor…

    Whether you’re just curious about that hunky guy at the coffee shop or hoping to add a deep-end to your gene pool, Incestry.com has everything you need to navigate the reproductive landscape. Simply swipe some DNA from your intended target, jam it in a sandwich bag with some of your own, and send it into…

  • And now a word from our sponsor…

    Ditch those ear phones, ear pods, and even your device with new Thoughtible!  Now you can consolidate all of your entertainment and communication needs into one hands-free device that lets you stream your favorite books, music, and media directly into your pre-frontal cortex. With Thoughtible’s new Mind-Spike© technology, you’ll have millions of books, songs, and shows at the tips…

  • And now a word from our sponsor…

    Sacrifice friends and family to the gods of self-promotion in pursuit of pseudo-fame that will fail to slake your unquenchable thirst for acceptance from people you’ve never met who are practicing the same ritual sacrifice as you! Join Instagram now!!

  • And now a word from our sponsor…

    Tired of yo-yo diets that leave you dissatisfied? Well, prepare to be “disfatified” with Un-eat, our amazing new deflabbifying program that puts weight loss at your fingertips! Un-eat is the safe, effective way to digitally determine your dietary desires. Sign up now!!