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Category: The Collected Works of Eldon Tubbs

  • Reused Towelette

    And now, another work from renowned poet, Eldon Tubbs.   And once again, you Have me confused with Someone you have me confused With, never to utter post- Prepositionally ended statements For fear of reaper cushions. Smear me not with pop- Starred pomp and greasy-fingered Giggles. For I, alone, do hold The keys to Jenny…

  • Thought Sauce

    And now, another work from renowned poet, Eldon Tubbs.   Brusquely flitting fae Blaring brilliantly ‘top Huddled hordes of hangers on. Brush ye e’er past  Elegance whilst embracing Cutesy smiles and giggly Hooteresque asides, dwindling Yon intellect as Kim Cattrall beckons from the grave…

  • Undead Equine

    And now, another work from renowned poet, Eldon Tubbs.   Manured in stupendity, self- Impotent Wanda Sykes impersonators Fly eastward on wings of rice Cakes. Pointless prognostications Trouble listless proles increasingly, Sacrificed on puffing, pompous Podiums ‘neath bulbous penal Platytudes.

  • Loaded Pudding

    And now, another work from renowned poet, Eldon Tubbs.   And so… The Andes race fore’er Up the angst-holes of Pastel pomegranates, drawing Nigh with Walberg-like Grace infused in their fateful Flannel overcoats.  Didst thou Seeth last week’s Maude?!?