Loser News

News you didn’t know you didn’t need…

Category: Sports

  • NBA Trade Tumors

    Boo-yah sports fans, and welcome to another installment of Loser Sports. Following a week of masturbatory elitism, the NBA is back in business and fast approaching the morbidly tittilating “Trade Deadline”. Since no epic switch-a-roos are currently in the making, I’ve decided to complete my own mock, fantasy league trade-o-rama, if you will. Here’s a…

  • Metta World Peace’s Flagrant Fortune Forum

    That’s right!! It’s time to kick some serious astrology with Metta World Peace!! Archie- Do the things that help you feel good about you. Love can conquer all. Tell Meat-Head to shut-up. Tartar- Regulate your time wisely, take more shots. Don’t pass to Kobe. Jimmy- Take a chance and try something different. Get drunk at…

  • Myopic Olympic Moments

    Due to current circumstances, I am unable to muster a “Boo-Yah!”. The 2012 Olympics were a wondrous display of grace and excellence that drew the world together into a distinct union of competitive camaraderie.  That is, until the US vs Spain basketball game. Many of us watched horrified as 12 NBA All-Stars barely escaped defeat…

  • The Kardashian Effect

    Boo-Yah, sports fans. It’s Scott Finley with another exciting sports update, and today we’re going to be analyzing the universal anomaly known as The Kardashian Effect. Now, despite documented cases of brain cell evaporation suffered by millions of tweens and men living in their mothers’ basements who are helplessly addicted to “skank o’ vision”, the…