Category: Local
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Kim Kardashian Pooped My Pants!!
Wilma Lou Harris (80) of Sabina, OH, told reporters today, that actress/model, Kim Kardashian actually pooped in the Shady Acres resident’s pants. “She musta come in and dropped a dumpskey in my pantsuit while I was watching that sex-pot Drew Carey on Price Is Right,” Harris related while being hosed down.”I seen her running off right about…
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Slow News Day
MOAB, Utah- A tumbleweed rolled down Main Street today, causing a short but intense traffic jam at Main and Center. Spectators watched as the renegade desert weed tipped back and forth in the intersection, almost daring them to approach. “I could see it from here,” reported Lavernon Bybee, Assistant Maintenance Specialist at the Best Wetern…
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Donald Duck Grabbed My Hiney
Wilma Lou Harris (80) of Sabina, OH, told reporters today that she had been accosted by beloved Disney character, Donald Duck, in June of 1939. “I didn’t tell nobody at the time cuz he was such a big star,” Harris related while holding a picture of a seashell to her ear. “Now I see he…
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I Am Paul Newman’s Siamese Cousin
Wilma Lou Harris (80) of Sabina, OH, told reporters today that she was indeed the late Paul Newman’s lost siamese cousin. Evidently, they had been conjoined at the elbow at birth, but were separated in a bizarre applesauce canning incident less than a year later. “I ain’t seen Paul since then,” Wilma informed Gus Harrington,…
Loser News 