Category: Local
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Anna Nicole Smith’s boyfriend stole my teeth!!
Wilma Lou Harris (80) of Sabina, OH, told reporters today that Anna Nicole Smith’s boyfriend, Howard K. Stern, and two of the playmate’s doctors conspired to steel her false teeth which she kept in a coffee mug near the side of her bed. “I heard them talking about it the other day in the cafeteria,”…
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The Year In Review-With Father Time…er…Tim
Greetings beloved brothers and sisters. It’s been a doozie of a year at Mother Mary Cathedral of Holy Communion!! Sister Susie’s bake sale brownie incident was less disastrous than first feared. Only two people died, and as they were both Protestant, the Holy Father forgave her and we hid the bodies in a parishioner’s crawl…
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Neck Has A Birthday!!
Guess what?!? It’s Neck’s birthday!! He is 106 years old today, but because of his mutant powers, he looks like he’s only in his mid-late forties. So what do you get a Neck for his birthday? That was a rhetorical question, so don’t tax your thinker too badly. I already got him the best gift…
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I Am / Am Carrying Heath Ledger’s Love Child
Wilma Lou Harris (80) of Sabina, OH, told reporters today that she was indeed carrying Heath Ledger’s love child, and that she was also his illegitimate daughter. “Me and Heath got together at our high school reunion back in ’79, and I been pregnant ever since.” Staff at the Shady Acres Retirement Village are skeptical, though…
Loser News 