Tag: Shady Acres
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Tyra Banks Ate My Grandchildren!!
Wilma Lou Harris, of Sabina, OH, told reporters today that ex-model/talk show skank, Tyra Banks has eaten five of her grandchildren when they came to visit her at the Shady Acres retirement home. “They used to come see me every week before Tyra started eating them,” the Octogenarian explained. “Now I just see my creepy…
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Kim Kardashian Pooped My Pants!!
Wilma Lou Harris (80) of Sabina, OH, told reporters today, that actress/model, Kim Kardashian actually pooped in the Shady Acres resident’s pants. “She musta come in and dropped a dumpskey in my pantsuit while I was watching that sex-pot Drew Carey on Price Is Right,” Harris related while being hosed down.”I seen her running off right about…
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Donald Duck Grabbed My Hiney
Wilma Lou Harris (80) of Sabina, OH, told reporters today that she had been accosted by beloved Disney character, Donald Duck, in June of 1939. “I didn’t tell nobody at the time cuz he was such a big star,” Harris related while holding a picture of a seashell to her ear. “Now I see he…
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I Am Paul Newman’s Siamese Cousin
Wilma Lou Harris (80) of Sabina, OH, told reporters today that she was indeed the late Paul Newman’s lost siamese cousin. Evidently, they had been conjoined at the elbow at birth, but were separated in a bizarre applesauce canning incident less than a year later. “I ain’t seen Paul since then,” Wilma informed Gus Harrington,…
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