Tag: Running Dans
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Local Shyster Dupes Gang Leader
Dan “Running Dan” Reis, leader of local prison/street/parking lot/summer camp/landfill gang The Dans, reportedly purchased a vehicle this week from used car salesman Rory J. Kofahoff, of Swindler Auto Group. “I saw this guy coming a mile away,” Kofahoff admits. “I mean he didn’t even have a shirt on.” Witnesses say it was like watching a fat…
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Drunken Eagle (Scout)
Dan “Running Dan” Reis, leader of the prison/ street/ mall/ arcade/ pizzeria/ theatre lobby gang, The Dans recently admitted to underage drinking while an active member of one of this country’s most hallowed youth organizations, The Boy Scouts of America. “Yo, it be trues!” Reis insisted, while making what looked like a “B” and an “M”…
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Gang Leader Gets A New Ride!!
Local gang leader, Dan “Running Dan” Reis, today purchased a vintage motor carriage with ilicit funds received from the illegal enterprises of his prison/ street/ mall/ pizzeria/ fitness center gang, The Dans. “Yo dis car be da bomb, yo!!” Reis told reporters. “I be rollin’ large now, yo!” “We were supposed to be saving that…
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International Incident
MILAN, Mich. – Local hero and excellent driver, Deke Schultz, drove the government’s International CO1850 switcher truck into a ditch today. “The steering was a little tight”, Schultz related after the incident. “The sun was in my eyes, I’m going through a stressful time in my life right now, and I have a yeast infection.”…
Loser News 