Tag: kitten
-
Astrobiologists Accomplish…Something
Bored astrobiologists reported yesterday that they would be reevaluating the system used to gauge distance in the universe. “We were just sitting on our thumbs till they find some actual biology in space,” related NAI Director and granola girl, Penelope Boston, “but then Rory (referring to Rory Koffahoff, head of custodial staff at the Institute)…
-
Moderna Says Vaccines Safe For Kittens!
Moderna spokesperson, Dr. Arnim Zola, advised FDA Officials that preliminary testing of Covid vaccines on preadolescent felines looks quite promising. “Less than 40 percent of kittens that received the vaccine were adversly affected with debilitating side effects”, advised the ex-Hydra biochemist”, as opposed to the control group in which we observed no complications.” Although cats…
-
Frisky Kitten
And now, another work from renowned poet, Eldon Tubbs. Fetid stench of death, smash relentless ‘Ponst my skull! Give me neither mercy Nor ibuprofen to quell my flashing agony. Would that I had purchased the optional Warranty…oh death, where is thy stick, For I cannot reach the bourbon in The back of the cupboard above…
Loser News 