Category: Weather
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“Hot” Off The Presses!
DENVER-Statisticians happened upon a startling discovery today when they realized that 9 out of every 10 forest fires are started by humans. The study, funded by the Bureau of Land Management and Pizza Hut, concluded that mankind, being the only species with the ability to produce fire, was far more likely to start a brush…
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Incoming!!
As the end of a bleak and by gone era approaches, astronomers and infotainment pariah are searching the stars for a grand celestial anomaly that could take the place of the dwindling life force know as Oprah. Legend holds that, on the twenty-first day of the twelfth month of the eleventh year of the twenty-first…
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Earl Could Force US Evacuations
The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) warned people along the Eastern Seaboard to prepare for possible evacuations before Earl makes landfall. Earl was expected to remain over the open ocean before turning north and running parallel to the East Coast, however Randy had to use the bathroom so they decided to make a quick pit-stop…
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Scientists’ Strange Behavior Baffles Sun
Scientists became overly excited about sun flares earlier this week, prompting a nearby star to make a rare public appearance. “They’re certainly an excitable lot,” the Sun told Katie Kouric Wednesday on the CBS Evening News. “I can’t even emit a class-C flare without everybody pointing their telescopes at me.” Scientists assert that the recent…
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