Category: Philosophy & Science
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Only In England…
LONDON (AFP) – A cat which lost both back paws after a traumatic accident has regained an equally traumatic spring in its “step” after being fitted with prosthetic limbs. In a pointlessly groundbreaking surgery carried out by Noel Fitzpatrick, a Surrey-based veterinary surgeon, the custom-made implants were spot welded to the feline despite his high-pitched protests.…
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Aliens Warn Against Hawking
Chief or the Galactic Science Prolateriate, Dr. Kgmurgph Smegdk’kg warned fellow Morrapheians against making contact with astro-physicist, Stephen Hawking. “Hawking most likely exists,” Smedgk’kg advised interviewers, “but our attempts to contact him could have catastrophic results.” Divian Overseer, Quough Lamperion agreed, flaring his gills with agitation. “Let’s not forget what happened when the Ya’Karians duped…
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NASA Quadruples Estrogen Levels In Space
The United States Space Program launched an unprecedented three women into space today, in an effort to finally make it into the Guiness Book of World Records. They will meet up with already orbiting Tracy Caldwell Dyson, a chemist turned astronaut who just finished constructing the first intergalactic meth lab. The other intrepid space-bimbos include;…
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Charitable Donations
As you know, I’m an avid philanthropist always looking out for a new charity to donate my time to. Well, I was listening to the radio and they were talking about this place that totally took care of manatees. Now I’m like the biggest manatee fan there ever was. They’re like gigantic, half-formed sharpeis, after…
Loser News 