Category: International
-
An Additional Existential Quandry
Zimbabwean farmer, Gamba Ndlovu writes: Dear A&E Television, Recently, I heard of your very popular reality show entitled “Hoarders” and would like to submit my sister, Mdwana, as a contestant. She has many unnecessary items in her hut which complicate her existence. Some days ago, I journeyed to her home hoping to borrow some water…
-
An Existential Quandry
Zimbabwean farmer, Gamba Ndlovu writes: Dear Scott’s Miracle-Gro Corporation, I have tried many of your lawncare products, but still find my grass to be patchy and listless. I have sold all the livestock and the childrens’ medications to purchase your products, but am yet unsatisfied with the results. Perhaps, I have used too much Turfbuilder. My lawn…
-
Manly Fresh Scent, But I Like It Too…
Hi everybody! It's me, Captain Richard Phillips, legendary seaman and bane of Indian Sea Pirates Local 1741. Ya' know, when I'm at sea being boarded by Somalian pirates I like to stay fresh, and there's no better way to do that than by using Irish Spring. Whether at home or in Djibouti, be it Original,…
-
Seriously IL’ing
Kim Jung Il celebrated his upcoming “re-election” to a third term as North Korea’s supreme leader by shooting a missile that presumably landed in L’Aquila, Italy, causing an earthquake. “We tell every one it was spy satellite, but it really secret delayed reaction super high impact earthquake missile!!” Il said in barely passable English early Wednesday morning. “The…
Loser News 